Mario's Night Out
by Dawgman09
Summary: Mario decides to go out clubbing one night, and he thinks it'll be the time of his life. But he is in for a much more interesting night than he expected, like a bar brawl, Yoshi napping, and a unneeded destroying of the world!


**Mario's Night Out: Ch.1 Getting ready...**

Its three in the morning. Mario is passed out a back alley in Mushroom Kingdom. The plumber turned hero has had one hell of a night. Hes been in fight after fight, gotten drunk, mugged, and even got his yoshi jacked.

It all started yesterday evening. Mario got a call from his good buddy Luigi. "Its-a me-a Luigi!" he yells through phone, "how about we go-a to the club tonight, Mario? Come on Buddy, Princess-a Daisy and-a Princess Peach are gonna be lookin extra spicy tonight!" Mario let out a sigh and drooped his head slightly. He just got back from a long and hard day of traveling through pipes. All Mario wanted to do was lay in his bed and rest. But he still answered Luigi, "sure-a buddy, ill go." the thought of princess peach was to much to say no. Mario hung up the phone after a final WHA-HOO from his brother.

He had another hour before it was time to go to the club. Mario decided to take his sweet time and do a little relaxing. He took a hot bath, ate a sandwich the same size he is, and watched a Princesses Gone Wild commercial before he got dressed. He put on his finest red-T and overalls, then headed out the door. It was already a quarter to eight when he left the house and he needed to make a stop at the 24 Seven, a mini-mart close to his house. So he pulled his '91 blue Yoshi out of the garage and went on his way. He walked in the store and said hi to the Shy Guy working the register, then walked to the back of the store. 5 minutes later... Mario comes back to the counter and is ready to check out. He puts his items on the counter and waits on the Shy Guy. Shy Guy bags the gum, the snickers, the Mountain Dew, and the pack of ciggarettes. Then, he stops bagging and looks up at mario (Shy Guys are mute if you didnt know). He looks up at Mario, then back to the counter, then back to Mario again. Mario forces a smile and slightly pushes the box of condoms toward the Shy Guy. Shy Guy gives Mario one final stare before bagging the box of condoms.

Mario leaves the store and walks over to the corner where he parked his yoshi. There are two bomb-ombs trying to steal his ride. "Yoshi fight back-a!" screams Mario as he runs to his aid. Yoshi sticks out his tongue and gobbles down the first bomb-omb. Mario yells out "yes! yes! now get the last one." The second bomb-omb saw what happend to his friend and didn't want the same thing to happen to him. Yoshi opened his mouth for the final attack and was about to swollow him whole. The bomb-omb's face scrunched up and a cliche sweat drop appeared next to his head. Before yoshi shot out his tongue, the bomb-omb exploded, hurting both yoshi and Mario in the process. Mario stood frozen in an akward looking position, with singe marks on his face and puffs of smoke rising from his mouth. Mario looked down at his now filthy clothes and frowned. He lifted his head, took in a deep breath, then he grabbed his cheeks and let out an ear splitting "OHHHH NO!" A few of the classic anime depression lines appeared on his head. Mario needed to get some new clothes. He hopped onto his yoshi --which has shrunk to a baby yoshi do to the bomb-omb explosion--and rode him to the clothes shop, called American Mushroom. Mario parked his tiny yoshi infront of the store and walked inside.

The store is filled with all sorts of crazy costumes. There was cowboy outfits, scooba outfits, space suits, metal costumes, and even a full body pikachu suit. There were all these great outfits... but no people inside shopping. Mario was the only person inside the store. He began to walk around for a little while. Afterwards, he stopped in the middle of the isle and began to scratch his head. He looked hide to side and then stared back down the isle. giggle giggle high pitched laughter filled the air. Boo apeared out of then air staring mario in the face. Mario fell backwards with a WHAAA! giggle giggle (can I help you?). Mario stood back up and said "I would like to buy a new outfit" Boo looked Mario up and down staring at his burn stained clothes. Suddenly Boo had a hat on backwards, an iced out chain on his neck, and two sets of rings floating next to his little fins. One set said "Ghost" and the other said "Life". He put them together and giggled what must have been "Ghost Life son!" Boo then began to talk really fast, and chopping up most his laughs giggle giggle gig giggle gig gig giggle gig (Yo son, I got like the freshest gear in the whole Mushroom Kingdom ya dig. Come over here and let me hook you up, son!" A shocked expression appeared on Mario's face, he was stunned by the sudden change in Boo's character. giggle gig (whats crackin?)

Mario had finally regathered himself and agreed to let Boo help him with his clothes problem. Boo took Mario to the dressing room shoved him inside. Boo threw some clothes over the door and told Mario to try them on. A few minutes later Mario walked out with his new clothes on. Mario was rocking a white '60s suit with green polka-dots, green tinted glasses, and forest green platform shoes. His hair was in an Afro and for some reason a disco ball magically appeared in the background shining circles on the wall. Mario walked to the mirror to see his new outfit. "MAMMA-MIA!" screamed Mario when he saw his reflection, "this ghost has made a fool of me". Boo was put back by his reaction, giggle giggle gig giggle (hold on hold on. I still have a few ideas to throw at you playa!) Boo quickly rams into Mario ,seeing ass Boo doesnt have any arms, and send him flying clean out of his clothes and back into the dressing room.

After another few moments Mario returned from the room a second time. This time he was wearing a biker jacket, a Village People police hat, motorcycle gloves, and the tightest pair of leather jeans you have ever seen. He had sunglasses on, his hair was slicked back, and his mustache had become a full handlebar beard. Mario resembled one of those cliche gay biker dudes with to much emotional baggage. Mario took and strutted himself over to the mirror, John Travolta style. But once he reacted the mirror he screamed so loud that his hair and face went back to normal. Mario let his head hang low. Boo was shocked again by his disapointment giggle giggle giggle(come on, lets try it again). Mario turned around and went back to the dressing room, the mirror reflected his butt hanging out off the assless jeans.

Mario went through dozens of other horrible outfits. He was dressed up as a clown, a mexican, a fireman/stripper, and a cowboy. It took twenty-three tries befor he came out with an decent outfit. Boo was laying on the floor exhausted from running back and forth bringing Mario clothes. Everytime he took inhaled Boo would go transparent. The door to the dressing room opened in slow motion. A fog was slowly leaking out of the door, and the song I believe I can fly began playing in the background. Boo's eyes went hella big as he was watching this. A single green and white G-nike emerged from the door and a piercing light started to emit from the doorway. Next came a baggy green and white pants leg. The door was now fully open and all you see is the outline of Mario in the door way, with light rays rotating around the door. He takes another step fordward and the blinding light dims away. Mario is wearing a green and white track suit, with the pants sagging. He has on a matching green and white mario style hat, a huge gold chain with a 1up Mushroom on it, a dimond ear ring, and many rings on his fingers. When the slow motion finally ended, Mario said "I'll take it."

Mario walks out of the store with his gangsta lean. He strolls up to his yoshi and says "how you like my gear, son?" The baby yoshi yelps with excitement. Then Mario stops and thinks for a moment. He thinks that if you is gonna roll into the club looking fly, he cant do it with a busted baby yoshi. Yoshi sees Mario thinking and understands whats going through his mind. Yoshi looks from side to side wondering wut he could do. Little sweat beads begin to pour over his face. Then suddenly a great smile appears on his face. gulp Yoshi ate the kid on the corner who was playing hop scotch. Yoshi then went from being a baby to fully grown again.

"Thats how we roll!" yells Mario, after seeing his yoshi turn back to normal. "now we can go instyle!" he says slyly.

Mario finally makes it to the club. He is riding in style, with his yoshi walkin real slow so everyone sees him. Mario winks at a few of the girls in the corner. they all swoon at him. Mario thinks that he is all that and a bag of chips right now. He pulls up to a red light one block from the club. A sigh of relief escapes his mouth as he is almost at his destination. SPLASH the light turned green and a car speeds by, throwing mud and dirt all over Mario and his yoshi. Mario just sat there in shock.

He looked down the road at the car that just humilliated him. It was a black Escalade fully tricked out. It had spinner rims on it, hydraulics going off, and a deffening sound system in the back. Mario's mouth dropped open even more, when he saw 50 cent get out of the driver seat. he was yelling, "I'm fiddy cent, i'm fiddy cent. Yeah I play them video games and such and such." Then, Fifty began throwing 12 gallon Vitamin waters into the crowd outside the club. He screamed out, " yeah! I'm fiddy cent, drink my water fools. Before it be looking like San Andreas up in here, ya heards."

50 cent walked into the club, and Mario was still frozen at the intersection. After a few more seconds he snapped out of it. "I'm go show that bum how to make an entrance. 50 cent my ass... more like a nickle. Shot nine times... you know how many times i died playing with damn noobs." said Mario. Mario rolled off another few blocks before he came to West Coast Yoshi, the car dealership. Mario stopped his yoshi and a light bulb appeared over his head. yoshi when licked his lips from left to right, and began to eat all of the cars in the lot. Yoshi then felt a rumbling in his stomach. He began to jerk and vibrate uncontrolabley. His body was expanding and contorting in all sorts of unusual ways. Then in a puff of blue smoke, yoshi had turned into a pimped out cadillac with a license plate saying "MARIO 1". Now that his ride was fly enough for him to be seen in, Mario has ready to go into the club with style.

First Chapter is over!

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